When I die
I want you to know that
Your name no longer leaves my lips
When I say it—or when I try to say it,
My throat burns
My heart sinks

If I just stop breathing
I want you to know that I
Wear black gloves now.
I cover my hands.
They were the last thing you touched.
The last thing you remember.
What do you remember?

What kind of afterlife will I see
But, I want you to know that
I cry
And you know I hate to cry
But I do it so much now
So many words left unsaid
So many moments left unlived


With you.
And without you too.


Where would I go if I died.
Before that, I want you to know


You reminded me I was alive
That I was here
That I am someone
A lovable someone
A creative someone
A funny someone
A beautiful someone

A part of me will always be searching for you
A part of me will always be wishing for you
Come here
And just see me.
And I will see you.
Just breathe me in, love.
And that will be enough.
For me.

When I die, just breathe me in and never ever exhale.

Please.